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Wendelin of Trier wrote:I'm very much enjoying the coverage of the winter olympics, but can't help thinking that small adjustments to certain disciplines would make the whole thing more entertaining.
For example, how about if the thrower in curling HAS to have a pint in their other hand whilst sliding along getting ready to release the stone?
And the people with the brushes have to have fags on the go as they vigorously sweep the ice. It would certainly add an air of jovial informality to proceedings.
And how about the 'frisson' that would be encountered in the skeleton by competitors having to hold a dachshund in place, sat on top of their heads for the entire course. That would sort the men from the boys. (Dachshund to wear googles and helmet for health & safety).
I know those two belters are enough, but, incredibly, I have third idea - A small microphone could be fitted to figure skaters trousers and points awarded for farts produced at key moments in the performance. Points could be awarded for simple rhythmic farts that follow the music and bonus points could be awarded for spectacular, multiple-blast farts released while perhaps performing a triple salchow.
Anybody have any other ideas?
Rake wrote:I think I'd like to see all the snow boarders and that other nutty ski thing that all the 'cool dudes' do be drug-tested when they get to the bottom by having random members of the crowd selected to cut bits off their greasy hair and smoke it.
Wendelin of Trier wrote:Rake wrote:I think I'd like to see all the snow boarders and that other nutty ski thing that all the 'cool dudes' do be drug-tested when they get to the bottom by having random members of the crowd selected to cut bits off their greasy hair and smoke it.
Eminently sensible suggestion.
Rake wrote:Wendelin of Trier wrote:Rake wrote:I think I'd like to see all the snow boarders and that other nutty ski thing that all the 'cool dudes' do be drug-tested when they get to the bottom by having random members of the crowd selected to cut bits off their greasy hair and smoke it.
Eminently sensible suggestion.
Thank you, I thought so.
Good to hear from you by the way.
mick wright wrote:I think the figure skating could be improved if the Olympians had to simultaneously distribute refreshments to the spectators.
I don't think it would too much of a stretch to carry around a tea-tray as part of their routine. They could throw the thing into the air while they do all the poncing about toe-looping, double axel-ing and triple lutz-ing and then catch it after they've done.
It would surely add to the excitement if spectators were offered a nice cup of tea in, don't forget, a pretty cold venue.
Wendelin of Trier wrote:
Superb. I have emailed Seb Coe with this suggestion (and cc'd Torvill and Dean but NOT Robin Cousins).
mick wright wrote:He's the type of bloke that, on Celebrity Only Connect, would throw a hissy if he was denied the choice of the Twisted Flax question. Well I say 'Twisted Flax my Arse, Robin Cousins
Wendelin of Trier wrote:
and the other 97% of the time thinking of burying my head in between two massive knockers.
Rake wrote:former F1 Grid Girls high on GHB.
Wendelin of Trier wrote:Rake wrote:former F1 Grid Girls high on GHB.
I read that as 'former Girl Guides high on UHT'.
Which should have been the title of British Sea Powers third album.
Cover art - John Humphrys sat outside the Tiger Inn at East Dean studying a map and not realising he's got it upside down.
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